I have learnt over many years that placing expectations on people regarding happiness, fulfillment, success, worthiness or acceptance have led to many disappointing and hurtful roads in my life. You see the issue with placing these expectations on people is you are basically setting them up to “fail” not allowing them to make mistakes, because if they slip at all whether intentionally or not, then disappointed, hurt and offense can creep in if you choose to entertain those negative emotions.
For example, if you have in your mind how you want a particular person to love or treat you at a certain level you expect or desire and they don’t meet that expectation, then uncomfortable questions of why can flood your mind. The why’s will either make you question what’s wrong with you or what’s wrong with them. As for me, it was “what’s wrong with me? Am I not lovable or worthy?”
Let’s say you expect a certain friend to always be there by saying or doing the right thing at all times regarding your heart, and they slip up according to you for whatever reason, then again you can become offended, hurt, or disappointed.
We can then start judging them with questions in our heart, why weren’t they there? How could they say or do that? Why didn’t they do what I thought they would do, or react the way I thought they would or should have? All these questions can become a judgment towards that person which is not healthy or Gods will.
I have learnt we are never to place these expectations on people, just love them where they are, only place these expectations on Christ as He never fails to love us according to what our soul needs daily. He is always there for us, always heals, restores, comforts and provides. I like to tell myself He’s only a breath away.
I have never met a person who has or can fulfill me to the LEVEL I desire and need, only Christ has. I have many people in my life that I’m close too and love, however I found I was still in need.
I felt never satisfied as I wanted more, my soul was crying out for more love and acceptance, I always felt somewhat empty, searching and unfulfilled like something was missing until Christ came into my life and changed everything, hence why I have never looked back and never will.
We are to love one another purely with no motives of what people can do for us, or how we expect them to make our lives happier or easier, that’s self-centeredness in a nutshell, we are to love them with clean pure hearts seeing them as Jesus sees them.
If they make a mistake, we must not allow the mistake to cause us to think lowly or negatively about them, just love them like Christ does.
When we make mistakes and we all do, does the mistake change Jesus’ mind about us? No, His relentless love and mercy remains, He still looks at us with a loving smile and open arms seeing us for our created value and not our mistakes.
Our mistakes don’t make us a mistake. Our failures don’t make us a failure. So why do we so easily put these labels on others because things didn’t go our way.
We don’t need the worlds love and acceptance to feel complete, whole and valuable, BUT we are to love the people in this world no matter how we are treated. I know this can be challenging and you’re probably thinking easier said than done, but with Jesus all things are possible and it does boil down to a choice.
I am a HUGE believer in choice, we have free will of how we chose to think, react and speak to people. It’s the choices in our lives that can change everything in our mindsets and around us.
This truth took me years to digest and understand as it brought freedom. Remove the expectations from what the world has to offer because only Jesus is enough, only Jesus can satisfy. Let’s put all our needs, hopes, dreams and expectations on Him alone as we wait expectantly, with joy choosing to love others no matter what is thrown our way.
Let’s show the world what pure and true love looks like which is selfless, forgiving, gentle, compassionate, giving, kind and merciful at all times and not just when we feel like it, this has to be a daily lifestyle. Let’s allow Jesus to do only what Jesus can do regarding our needs in our lives in every aspect.
“Rescued and Redeemed by Grace”