I believe jealousy is a subject I must share on because of how
rapidly downward it will take one into the depths of negativity
and unhappiness. I am sure every person at some point has felt
this emotion, and I have experienced firsthand how deadly this is to our souls.
During my youth, I became easily jealous of others, and it didn’t have to do with money or material possessions. It was mainly about seeing their immense happiness, popularity, beauty, independence, confidence or how smart they were with their certificates or talents. It stemmed from everything I felt I wasn’t.
I can honestly say I was happy for all my friends who possessed
any of the above, always supporting them and encouraging them because I took friendship very seriously. However, celebrating their success made me feel secretly jealous and sad about my own life, which made my future seem like a promised failure.
To explain the beginning of feeling jealous, in my experience it
started with thoughts like, It’s not fair, Why can’t I have that too?
Where did I go wrong that I wasn’t so lucky? and What makes her/him better than me? Once jealousy has been accepted after the invite, it will invite its buddies to also come and join in: sadness, resentment, bitterness, offence, anger and, in some cases, even hatred.
Playing with any of these characters can cause unnecessary and painful situations in life. I learnt that if you don’t grab those feelings as soon as they attack, and take them to Jesus, they will fester and become very dangerous, robbing you of joy and peace.
The enemy will try to take those feelings and amplify them as much as you permit. Jealousy will cause much rivalry and discord in families and friendships if not put a stop to immediately.
How I dealt with these jealous feelings was to first remember that I was NOT to rely on or live according to how I felt. Again, it’s a choice.
My way of handling any negative feeling was to start
talking to myself when alone, using many positive reminders. No, I’m not crazy. I think it’s actually healthy to talk to myself while encouraging myself with the good things that God has promised me, focussing on what’s to come and what I have now, rather than focussing on what I don’t see and don’t have.
I can’t rely on friends to encourage me, giving me what I emotionally need daily, much less how often I need it. I have to take this matter into my own hands and encourage myself strongly by speaking life and truth into my soul daily. I have to be my own cheerleader.
So whenever a nasty feeling of jealousy attacks, I say:
‘God, You have amazing plans for my life, which I
believe and hold on to. I am perfect in Your eyes,
and I have so much to be grateful for and look
forward to. I am excited about my future with You’.
Then I will list all the things I am blessed and grateful to have,
such as good health, my loving husband, food on the table, a roof over my head, healthy children, clean water, eyesight, bills paid and much more.
Listing the things that I have been blessed with makes me feel lighter, as it seems that with every word I give thanksgiving and praise for, jealousy and all its cohorts leave the party. I believe
thankfulness and gratefulness are the jealousy slayers.
Also, I found that praying for the people who have what you don’t is another powerful way of destroying jealousy and ungratefulness. Pray to God to continue to bless them and grant all the desires of their hearts, pray for their safety, good health, finances and more.
This is so powerful. Instead of entertaining jealousy and allowing it to fester, we choose immediately to entertain love for them as we start to pray for them.
What He has planned for my life and yours we can’t even begin
to imagine. It goes beyond all we could dream of, if we say yes to Him. We have to refuse to allow jealousy and any negativity to cause delays in hindering our happiness and destinies.
I now have no desire to live anyone else’s life but mine. I want to fulfill what God has called me to do. I choose to love myself and my life. I am grateful for all I have and all that’s to come. I no longer entertain jealousy and its cohorts.
“Rescued and Redeemed by Grace”